Wednesday morning rant
Wednesday 3am,
Of course i am awake.
I have hot coco, feels too early to make coffee.
Slept a couple of hours on the couch last night, then from 11:30pm to 2am in bed. so iguess i have a total of 4.5 already.
Lets start by apologizing for being absent since Saturday, but as i said, this round the chemo really got to me. Not sure if they haven't increased dosage because i was taking it to well. Anyway, thank you to my 6 readers for sending me a message asking if i was ok. I didn't know i had that much...
First of all, i need to to say this again and maybe some of them will read it some day, or maybe future people in the same situation will be helped by it.
But, why on earth does everyone keep telling me i'm not dying? I am!
Please, friends, be realistic, i would be the first human to beat this disease, i am optimistic and still am trying to be the first to do so. But, when the doctors look weird at each other when you ask something like "should i book a ski vacation in November?", and then answer, i wouldn't go that far.
It should tell you enough. Since December i have been annoyed by this, and i even said in an earlier post it is why i didn't tell family about my cancer, and i still haven't really. The ones that know found out by themselves, and i still ask not to tell anyone else. And that is onlt because i need to do this my way, i am a realist. Some call me a tough guy. I am not, i am who i am and grew into.
I was in the army, was/am a biker, was a truck driver........ it all adds up to what i am today. I will end my rant here, or i will fill the page.
That reminds me i have to ask about getting my drivers license back now that they know how little those things in my brain are. And get my bike a new battery. Ah, did i share a pic of that yet? sec.
All considered, i think i got through the worst of this chemo battle now.
Let's hope i can get to doing something again soon. Feeling useless at the moment. And that does help overall.
Also, i think i'm shrinking. I drove my car to the car wash yesterday (don't tell anyone), it was standing still since December, and i don't like that.
First thing i noticed was that i had to adjust all my pirrors for a shorter person.
Of course i am awake.
I have hot coco, feels too early to make coffee.
Slept a couple of hours on the couch last night, then from 11:30pm to 2am in bed. so iguess i have a total of 4.5 already.
Lets start by apologizing for being absent since Saturday, but as i said, this round the chemo really got to me. Not sure if they haven't increased dosage because i was taking it to well. Anyway, thank you to my 6 readers for sending me a message asking if i was ok. I didn't know i had that much...
First of all, i need to to say this again and maybe some of them will read it some day, or maybe future people in the same situation will be helped by it.
But, why on earth does everyone keep telling me i'm not dying? I am!
Please, friends, be realistic, i would be the first human to beat this disease, i am optimistic and still am trying to be the first to do so. But, when the doctors look weird at each other when you ask something like "should i book a ski vacation in November?", and then answer, i wouldn't go that far.
It should tell you enough. Since December i have been annoyed by this, and i even said in an earlier post it is why i didn't tell family about my cancer, and i still haven't really. The ones that know found out by themselves, and i still ask not to tell anyone else. And that is onlt because i need to do this my way, i am a realist. Some call me a tough guy. I am not, i am who i am and grew into.
I was in the army, was/am a biker, was a truck driver........ it all adds up to what i am today. I will end my rant here, or i will fill the page.
That reminds me i have to ask about getting my drivers license back now that they know how little those things in my brain are. And get my bike a new battery. Ah, did i share a pic of that yet? sec.
All considered, i think i got through the worst of this chemo battle now.
Let's hope i can get to doing something again soon. Feeling useless at the moment. And that does help overall.
Also, i think i'm shrinking. I drove my car to the car wash yesterday (don't tell anyone), it was standing still since December, and i don't like that.
First thing i noticed was that i had to adjust all my pirrors for a shorter person.
Comments
I do wish to show some support here awesome news about getting your license back.
Now I'm going to be that selfish prick you love. No one likes to feel a loss & your response to the chemo treatments has been great. So keep living like today is any other day & tomorrow is just another snooze button away. Turn off your doctor how long have I got button & enjoy your time while you're here.
I probably haven't known you as a long as others who comment here but the things I do know are good things. I think that's the one good thing about Internet buddies, you can't hide your character in an invisible persona it eventually shows..